Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Three little birds🎶

I'm moving  along, taking and titrating my meds, received my infusion last Wednesday, saw Dr Fellin, everything seems stable. I'll have a repeat brain MRI 1/27/15. The good news is that I feel terrific! Even as my bald self (which I'm told may not even grow back :( I've kept up with my exercising and yoga and resolve to keep moving.    I love to listen music while walking and yoga; and I find the music just as helpful! Something about when a favorite song comes on that instantly lifts your spirit. I also attribute my new found wellness to all of you, I'm so grateful for all your love, support and prayers.... You showered me with kindness that holds a special place in my heart... From delicious meals that kept my family well- fed, cards with inspirational quotes, gifts, money, carpooling rides for the kids, doing my bottomless pit of laundry, taking my kids all day so I could sleep, rides to the doctor, delicious treats, uplifting get well messages, help with my courses and committee work and most importantly your prayers. I'm not pretending that it's all over, I'm just grateful that today I feel terrific.

I often get questions "how long will the medicine work" or "what about the side effects of those powerful medications" and my reply is always "I'm just happy that today the meds are working, I feel terrific and don't really want to know (why worry more)." The future is unknown, for all of us actually, so I'm just going to continue taking one day at time and live in ignorant bliss. I have come to peace with my mortality, and wish/ hope/ pray that my days are mostly good ones in which I feel well, normal, without pain or disability. You don't think about health and wellness until you don't have it anymore. I'm so fortunate (Blessed) to have regained it. 
Thank you to my cheerleaders, always  sending good mojo my way, keeping me in your prayers, sending your love- it makes all the difference in the world! 

Love this song by Bob Marley (I sing it in my mind often):

"Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be alright.
Singing' "Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be alright!"

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Each by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Saying', ("This is my message to you")

Singing' "Don't worry 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be alright."
Singing' "Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be alright!"

And these quotes...

Wherever you are, God put you there for a reason. Bloom where you are planted! 

There are two ways to exert one's strength: one is pushing down; the other is pulling up. 

Friday, January 2, 2015

Why not exercise ?

For my tx update - I saw Dr. Fellin Christmas Eve, had my IV tx with Hercepton and Zometa and still working on titrating up the chemo meds (tykerb and Xeloda). Dealing with diarrhea but otherwise feeling good. Still no hair :( I've come to the conclusion that I just need to push myself harder then I ever had. My body seems to just want to lay around on my heating pad, take 2 hour naps, and watch Access Hollywood but then my mind goes crazy with inactivity (and celebrity gossip). I was tired all the time and feeling apathetic.  I met with my therapist on Tuesday, and she suggested adding Wellbutrin ( anti- depressant) to my Lexapro ..... Now while I'm all for feel-good chemical help, somehow this motivated me to just get moving. Despite the frigid weather, I dragged my butt out to get some fresh air and exercise and it's working. I'm starting to feel better already. There is something about exercising that my body responds to (just wished the weather was warmer). I think I allowed myself to "couch potato" because I was feeling sorry for myself, not so much for my diagnosis as I have came to terms with that, but for a never- ending cycle of doctor visits, tests and treatments. I was living in the moment but not really enjoying it much. So with some fresh air and a celebration of a New Year, I'm ready to tackle 2015 with all I got. 

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray." Rumi