Thursday, February 5, 2015

Happiness is the way.

I hesitate to even write this, but want to update you all on where I’m at. The results from my 1/27/15 MRI were mixed. I know right? I feel terrific, how can they “be mixed”. Apparently some tumors shrunk while others grew! Yes tumor”s”… I always heard I had 15 or so but never really saw them, out of sight out to mind. Well, I’ve seen them, the Fellow brought my brain up on the computer and compared my last MRI scan to this one- pretty neat if it wasn’t MY brain with 15 or so white spots scattered throughout. Kind of freaked me out. I knew there was a reason I kept saying I didn’t want to see the scan. Anyway, it’s perplexing to everyone, including the “brain specialist” who also read my scan. So the consensus is to continue what we are doing and instead of re-scanning in 3 months they’ll rescan in 6 weeks then we’ll decide what to do if there is more “growth”. Rational is to give the radiation more time as well as the medications (that I finally titrated to the full amount without any diarrhea!)

UGH … just when I got my mojo and energy back I get hit with this; but I have put things in perspective and remembered my motto- “take one day at a time and live in the moment.” I mean, look how far I’ve come… I could have given up so many times: when I was first diagnosed with Stage III aggressive breast cancer, after I learned it was showing up in my other breast so needed ANOTHER mastectomy 1 year after the first, when I learned it spread to my lung, liver and most large bones including spine, or when I was hospitalized with severe headaches to learn it spread to my brain. I kept soldiering on and eventually got my mojo back each and every time! I’m not in denial, I know this will not end like the movies and books I only read (with a happy ending), but like Stuart Scott said “you beat cancer by how you live, why you live and in the manner in which you live”. He’s so right! My therapist and I were talking about what drives me to keep getting back up, and I could not come up with one answer- it was everything swirled into one terrific life filled with terrific people!

So in celebration of living, we are going to Florida to visit my parents in Fort Myers. We will be staying on the causeway that enters into Sanibel Island (a place I have always wanted to visit). To get the best deal, and schedule around  my treatments, we do need to pull the kids from school for a week- but it will be so worth it to feel the sunshine on my face, smell the cool breeze and feel the sand between my toes!

Please keep me and my family in your prayers and pray for shrinkage!

There is no way to Happiness; Happiness is the way.