Monday, June 2, 2014

The good, the bad and the ugly…


I again struggle with what to write this week as I feel I’m just plugging along with treatment and life. I debated about what you wanted to know, did you want to know all the ugly details of cancer treatment ? Like how I got sick this round (started from both ends (yes at the same time ;( and now just occasional stomach rumbling and diarrhea; how my thrush is acting up again and causing throat ulcers or that I look like a plucked chicken as most of my hair has fallen out? I actually feel that I’m very fortunate that these are the worst of my side effects. It could be a lot worse…. As evident when I called my Onc to relate these side effects, he asked if I could still swallow and eat despite the ulcers? Umm, yes I replied “then no worries about the throat ulcers”. Then he asked, “do you have chills and a fever with the diarrhea?” No, I said and I only had it a couple of times. Although he was sympathetic, he again was not worried and sounded relieved. He prescribed dyflucan again for the thrush, instructed me to take Imodium and call if anything got much worse. The laundry list of possible side effects is unbelievable and I’m very lucky to have minimal reactions.  I feel bad, but really not thaaaat bad.

So maybe I can share a good thing that happened today. Since, I’m not sure the plucked chicken look is in, I wore my wig for the first time to work. I decided to just rock it and not think twice. To my utter surprise, the gas attendant at the Wawa on route 70 actually flirted with me and said, as he handed me back my card, “Don’t ever change your loveliness”, wig and all. Okay, so yes he looked like he just got out of jail, and yes I was driving the van with the kid’s stuff thrown all over, and I did double check the receipt with the pump, but it felt nice that despite I knew that I was wearing my wig, this guy just couldn’t tell! So when you see me, wig-and-all, remember the gas attendant liked it!

I’ll be getting an echo next week to check my heart function and my 6th treatment will be 6/18; with a repeat scan thereafter. I’ll update everyone once I get the results, let’s pray for shrinkage, major shrinkage!

Thanks as always for your support and love.

In memory of Maya Angelou, my two favorite quotes by her:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."