Haven't touched the blog in a while. Nothing really to report except my scans remain consistent. Nothing grew and some got better- the doctors were happy. I was getting hives the last two treatments, from the Carboplatin so skipped it this week. I'm a little tired but thats it.

I'm also unstable on my feet and need my wheelchair. I have occasion slips but don't get hurt! I catch myself every time! 

A quote:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll; whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul (Horatio G. Spafford).

Good news....

Have good news to report this New Years! MRI results from Monday was good - none of the tumors grew , some actual shrank. I'm getting along better but still need support and don't drive but at least I can pee on my own! Everyone who sees me says how much better I look- I still feel tired and a couple of days past Chemo "yucky" but if that's all - I'll take it! Thank you for all the meals, support , help with the kids - it means so much!

Posted by my great yoga instructor Erik Marerro:

- "Imagine if all the tumult of the body were to quiet down, along with our busy thoughts. Imagine if all things that are perishable grew still. And imagine if that moment were to go on and on, leaving behind all other sights and sounds but this one vision which ravishes and absorbs and fixes the beholder in joy, so that the rest of eternal life were like that moment of illumination which leaves us breathless." ~ Saint Augustine

Meatloaf!!!

So I know it's been awhile... I've had a rough couple of weeks. Was hospitalized a couple of weeks. Couldn't really move around by myself. But with PT and OT doing much better! I'll have a brain scan next week- so we'll see. Everyone has been terrific, esp my parents and Jason -so loving and caring! It's hard to stay motivated but you help so much! They keep me going and keep things in perspective !

And the meals- I didn't realize how much they help! You guys are terrific! And the kids are loving them- who knew they liked meatloaf? Thank you for taking the time to think of us!

"In the end only 3 things matter : how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. -" Buddha

Finally ins approved the increased dose of IT herceptin and I got it yesterday! We' ll see if it helps! Then last night I had a repeat brain MRI - which either it's still just swelling from the radiation or bigger tumors consequently I just had one 3 weeks ago and to the docs wasn't so bad - we'll see... I read the results myself today and I can't tell- looks like some is worse with swelling but some better- the doctor will call with what's next!

Thanks to my good friend Leann.damico for lending me a 4 point cane! And Aunt Kathy for lending Me a scooter for Disney!  I wouldn't be able to get around if not for Jason and my parents so I'm so grateful! I also so appreciate my doctors who really care about me and then of course all of you! My work is incredible and so supportive - I'm so very lucky and appreciative.

My favorite song/ "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" lyrics JEWEL LYRICS

Play "Somewhere Over The Rainbow"

"Somewhere Over The Rainbow"

Somewhere over the rainbow

Way up high

There's a land that I heard of

Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over that rainbow

All skies are blue, oh

And where dreams

That you dare to dream

Really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far behind me

And troubles melt like lemon drops

Way above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow

Bluebirds fly, oh

If birds can fly over the rainbow

Why, then why can't I?

Someday I'll wake and rub my eyes

And in that land beyond the skies

You'll find me

I'll be a laughing daffodil

And leave the silly cares that

Fill my mind behind me

Somewhere over that rainbow

Bluebirds fly

If birds can fly over the rainbow

Why, then why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly

Beyond the rainbow

Why, oh why can't I?

Getting back on balance...

So this last week I've been so dizzy and off balance, literally, it's unnerving to me. I need help to walk to the car, I fell 4 times, not bad falls but enough to startle me and Jason, thank Goodness the kids did not see, but I think Tom's onto me. I'm best just sitting up or laying in bed. And I'm so hungry again. Dr. Glass wants to increase my IT hereptin but the ins. company is taking forever to approve it, apparently I'm at the top dose. So we're just waiting. He did give me a referral for Physical Therapy for a cane... does anyone know of a good place around me? Problem is I have an HMO Keystone Health Plan East plan and I think I'm capitative to Magee.

So I feel stuck inside but at least I can work on the computer for a little while..... I'm going to do what I've been doing, keep swimming and see where this goes... hopefully I start to feel better, I don't like being so dependent!

Some of the quotes that give me strength:

"Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor". rumi

"Life is too ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence".

Finding your path…

I had the repeat Brain MRI 9/3 (last week), I have mixed feelings, first I read the report on my own and was disappointed as the results read "mixed response to numerous intracranial metastases but overall increased FLAIR/mass effect in the posterior fossa compared to previous study". And I got depressed until I met with my doctors and after looking more closely at the results it appears that my lesions are "minimally worse but some minimally improved but the majority are the same." Great- so what does that mean? It means I keep swimming! The good news is that the lesions are about the same, and still no really bad side effects, I still feel relatively fine, beside being tired and the occasional headache. My neuro-oncologist will double the dose of my IT herceptin from 20 to 40 so that may help. I'll still get my other IV meds and keep taking one day at a time. I have to admit it is tiring but I've got to just keep in the moment. My yoga instructor posts to FaceBook each week and this is what he posted last week which made perfect sense to me.

“Your life is a sacred journey. It is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path… exactly where you are meant to be right now… And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love.” ~ by Caroline Adams


So I'm carrying on, still teaching, still discovering, still swimming, and grateful for all I have, 

Love to you and may you find or stay on your path. 

Dr. Seuss's life lessons

So I've been swimming and taking one day at a time. I'm getting treatment every Wednesday and feel pretty good. Depending on the week I’ll get Herceptin, Perjeta, Zometa, Intratheical Herceptin, and Abraxane. I’m tolerating them, just tired and occasional headache. It seems when I’m more active and doing things, I don’t feel as tired vs. just laying in bed watching Family Feud or Tree House Nation! I don’t know when I’ll be “scanned” again, kinda don’t want to know. I just take one day at a time and am thankful for this day that I’m able to function and get out of bed. I’ll probably get a brain MRI in a couple of months.

I learned last week that it really is all relative, and how we handle things. I was waiting for the elevator at the infusion center, and started to talk to this elderly African American lady. We were talking about how the medications really dry our skin (I can draw on my legs they are so dry!) I’m thinking she was going where I was going. But I was wrong she was going to Rothman Institute that is in the same building. For those of you who don't know Rothman, it is orthopedics. She shared that it was her “darn knee” then started to cry. Mumbling she can’t believe how angry she was about her knee when she couldn’t imagine what I must be going through (I looked so young). I told her not to cry we all have a story. Then the elevator doors opened and I stepped out. I’ve thought about this woman a lot since then, what she is going through, does she have support, can she pay for her treatment. I feel so grateful that I have all of those things.

I’m feeling well enough that we are going to visit the Poconos for a couple of days. I really have enjoyed our trips to the Poconos so went on expedia to find a last minute bargain. We’ll go to the resort pool, bike or hike, tree climbing fun, hit our favorite place to eat- Barley Creek Brewery and take it easy! Looking forward to it.

My quotes for this week are from Dr. Seuss who is a smart man. Ella has been reading me his stories. Not only are they clever in rhyming they have hidden meaning! I’ve always appreciated his books and even had one of his quotes hanging in my dorm room in college (next to Where’s Wally).

Thank you as always for your love, well wishes and friendship. "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." Xoxoxo, Kellie