I know I’ve owed you an update for a while, two things happened that made me procrastinate… I was feeling very tired from the radiation treatments (I know its been a while since I stopped but radiation effects happen after) and I lost another good friend and colleague to this terrible disease. She was a sounding board, a cheerleader, and I admired how she tackled her disease and life! We would talk about our journeys and how we just had to keep swimming. I’m sad now but know she would want me to keep moving forward, treasure her memories but keep living! She was an incredible lady and I will always hold her in my heart.
So, here I am, a little sad, but still swimming… maybe a little slower but still moving forward. I had my first intrathecal infusion of herceptin to the brain on Friday and it was uneventful. The doctor just injected a small amount and will titrate it to the full does next week. I will go every Wednesday moving forward. I thought I felt better Saturday but it could be psychosomatic. I know there will be a “re-scan” but don’t know when, probably 6 weeks or so. And I continue to get the systemic Herceptin, perjeta, zometa to my regular port every 3 weeks. I stopped the steroid so my appetite is back to normal and I lost 3 lbs! I know so silly to worry about weight of all things!
So in memory of my good friend:
Native American Prayer for the Grieving
I give you this one thought to keep-
I am with you still- I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you waken in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone-
I am with you still- in each new dawn.