Wednesday, October 29, 2014


So the good news is I'm starting to feel myself, getting my mojo back, headAches only when I get overtired (which can happen easier now- I need 2 naps a day!).... So Still very tired but compared with how I felt before I'll take it! I think I'll keep improving! Isn't it miraculous the power of prayer? You all have been so wonderful, I'm still humbled by the outpouring of love and support.... People say I'm so strong and it's amazing my attitude- but really how else could I be? "You never really know how strong you are until being strong is your only option"..... I choose to live, take one day at a time and make the best of it. I know we have been dealt a shitty hand but I can honestly say I feel eternally grateful for the rest of everything: my life has been everything I could ever want- and I truly mean that- I have Been so blessed... With INCREDIBLE parents and family, friends who are there for me and make life so fun, a fulfilling career that I not only love and am so passionate about but I'm very good at, a supportive loving husband who respects me, cheers me, and is my best friend and a home and neighbors within a neighborhood that is cozy, safe and fun and of course 3 beautiful children inside (and out) who are so caring, loving, smart, and who I'm so very proud of! I've been so fortunate my entire life to not have to suffer personal grief .,, I did lose my grandparents but I was so young and oblivious....but I know others who have and how they suffer. That's why I'm so into this mindfulness (living in the moment), taking only one day at a time, it works, it helps me cope, it reveals how beautiful life is! So updates- I had my herceptin infusion Wednesday and saw dr Fellin- all is stable! Well except for the 8 lbs I gained eating your delicsh food. started the PO chemo Friday (so far just having what he said loose stools- so I guess I'll loose those 8 lbs easily 😊) repeat brain MRI is 11/24...And soldiering on! Love to all of you... Cause really love is what it's all about.... Some of my mojo quotes: "The key to happiness is letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be." "What you think you become. What you feel you attract. What you imagine you create." Buddha

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Taking one day.....

Good Lord.... Taking one day at a time ...and so should you!

So I guess I better clear up just what is going on, yes I could be in a better place, actually, but I'm fortunate and in fact I'm just at the beginning of my her2 treatment options ...  Radiation, her2 specific chemo, more radiation if I need it etc... Although her2 is aggressive and fast it actually is a benefit to me, we can kill it quickly... Do I have years- no... Do you have years- I hope so but I guess that's up to a higher power anyway... Kinda what I was saying when I needed my mindfulness mojo back.... It's only been 3 weeks for me to grasp my new reality and I desperately need to center myself and live in the moment again, easier said then done- try it.. It takes a conscious effort and often you have to block out the other "noise". I don't want to seem ungrateful for all the heart touching well wishes- I've heard from friends near and far and my heart swells with the knowledge that I've touched so many lives.... But I thought this might be the perfect opportunity to share what makes me smile with joy... I simply just need you to say "I love you Kellie, you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers and have Faith in what is to be, whatever that is to be, in the meantime we will soldier on together!"

I'm trying to get a semi normal routine back- it's how I cope, and I don't do laying around real well, it will be slow at first but I hope to soon be up and about more! So send me your mojo- I may not text back but I assure you I get every well wish...mojo is just the thirst to live, a funny text, a kind word, a pic of Jamie Frasier (ok Damon too) a good recipe (I'm starving all the time from steroids), a life quote... Or Just love...💜

Some updates:
Radiation is done for now- rescan11/24 to see if I need more, I'm grateful for the break cause I'm fried (literally on my forehead) and lost what little hair I had - but was assured it would grow back by Xmas I'll 
Continue with IV hercepton, Zometa and start po (pill) form of perjeta which crosses the blood/ brain barrier (no need for inthathecal chemo now)

Results of Pet and MRI spine: good news! My scans showed improvement from Feb, my spine and bones with no active disease, lungs better, watching liver but nothing really new (except brain).  We'll just cont with antibioties. . rescan brain in 6 weeks, and take one day at a time. I still have my headaches but most likely that's due to brain swelling from radiation... So that should improve with healing.

We are about to get a puppy- yes u read right... A French Bulldog... I have a good excuse, The tumors effected my reasoning... ;) But we Can't wait, he'll be here mid-Nov and I can't wait! I need this....

I love each and everyone of you, am so grateful for the support we have and wish for you to continue to live in the moment with joy at this unexpected gift we all were given... Lots of love, Kellie

Friday, October 3, 2014

knew it would….

I guess I'll just begin where you all need updates. Yes, I did have a headache that sent me to the ED last week, I couldn't wait it out for my scheduled STAT MRI Tuesday. I just progressed to unbearable headache pain , then with only a 7 hour ED wait, I was admitted Friday night, had a CAT scan and subsequent MRI - both showed what suspected- Brain Mets, non operable as they are small and scattered. Good news is that they are not blocking blood flow, just giving me a wicked  migraine, and oh so tired. Plan is for daily radiation to my head for 10 days, consult with Neuro Onc to see if i'm a candidate for intrathecal chemo (directly to the brain). As Herceptin does not pass the blood-brain barrier. Ill also have a spinal MRI (all ) three sections) to see that's going on there, then if approved another PET and maybe a spinal tap. Continue with Hersceptin, Perjeta, and Zometa my full-time job will be this for a while. Still waiting to see how I make out with the head radiation, some say I will gain some of my suburb functioning back- or at least my stubbornness so I can work but we'll see. The one positive thing is I don't even feel like working now, so no worries there.

I'm again so humbled by your outpouring of support, and feel a little frustrated I can't' respond back to everyone of you. But please now that I have gotten each of your well wishes and prayers, kind notes and thoughts for concern. It means so much to me and my family to know there are so many on our team.

I've always said this but can not stress it enough, live for each moment, cherish your health, be nice to each other, life is precious and short, enjoy the little things for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things.

Love, peace, friendship,